John Doe: Highway sign tells me to "Use Cation". What if I only have anions?

From: Chad

John Doe: i just got beaten across the road by a lady on a motor chair thinger. harsh.

From: meagain

John Doe: In Hindu class, were talking about Slumdog (good movie). Found out last class that my paper has been extended another week. Praise Jesus!

From: Hudson

Ebay Shopper: Is wondering why there is a "sex toys" category on ebay...can you say herpes

From: KKim

Disappointed: I just discovered that dragonfruit, aka'ed pitayas, are extraordinarily ugly & look like mutant fruit. Now my VitaminWater = less appealing.

From: Melonvent

Loverboy: Just said "I love you" for the first time; sent it via text though, but it still counts, right? I feel better now.

From: Xelaphobe

Fed Up: X person knows Y percentage about Z person according to How Much You Know About Z Quiz. T is how much I care. T is also a constant, zero.

From: itSAMEERacle

Poor Man: got fired without even knowing......how fucked up

From: Jimbo

Proud Man: My beard is looking good. Goodnight.

From: Pinocchio

Pocket Called to Pocket Caller: I am on the phone with your pocket right now. im not going to hang up, because its kinda fun guessing what you are doing

From: Pinocchio